I struggled a lot with this blog post. I wanted badly to write about how much insight I have gained from the contemplative practices, because I see that so many of my classmates love them. In all honesty, I find it extremely difficult to focus during contemplative practices and I cannot remember any particular practice or what thoughts it sparked in me. The noise of the fan and the persistent discomfort of my chair against my back alone are enough to completely prevent me from entering into introspection. I feel that I would gain more by journaling responses to some of the prompts presented in our contemplative practices. I also gain more self-awareness and insight about my place within systems when I am in conversation with someone else or when I can synthesize materials from one course with content from another. For example, I gained a lot of insight on Limberg and Barnes’ piece about “Culture War 2.0” when I mentioned it in a discussion in my Spanish seminar, because we were able to consider how it might apply to cultures within Latin America and I was able to spend more time thinking about how I might play into one or more of those “tribes.”

Still, I believe and respect that the practices are fruitful for others who find it easier to quiet their minds and who are less distracted by the abundance of sensory inputs with which daily life barrages us. I do think that inner work is an important component in activism and in retraining our brains, should we find that our ingrained beliefs do not align with our values. I agree with the assertion in Schley’s “Sustainability: The Inner and Outer Work” that our emotions can give us feedback which can inform the potential direction of our individual and collective efforts to create change, and that inner work helps people recognize the qualities and attitudes necessary to make a difference. I also think that healthy emotional regulation would be crucial to any radical, positive social movement or reorganization, as with this come empathy and resilience. For many people, contemplative practice and meditation are helpful for such regulation. In the meantime, I will continue to put effort into trying to adapt the practices to my needs to see if I am able to gain more going forward.

(Michael Menchaca). This artist’s work deserves attention for its intended purpose, but I include it here because I find it to be overwhelming and for me it is a visual representation of how my mind feels during contemplative practices.