Day 5 was a day of overcoming challenges and maintaining high spirits through the toughest conditions. If this group had one super power, it was warming each other with laughs even through the biting cold and lifting each other up when everything else was pushing us down. This day was certainly a challenge for me personally; I started the day by waking up and realizing my right eye was entirely swollen shut. The day before we had ventured into some mosquito-dense areas, and while we killed a good about of those annoying little nuisances, one had managed to get a good bite out of my right eyelid and prompted an allergic reaction that sealed the entire eye shut. Normally this wouldn’t be too much of an issue, but I am completely blind without my contacts in, and I was unable to get my eye open enough to put the contact in. I resorted to wearing my glasses and stepped outside of my tent, hoping my group wouldn’t shun me for looking like a one-eyed monster.
After being somewhat consoled from my group that my eye didn’t look that bad, we started breakfast and prepared for our journey up Gray Wolf Pass. It was one of the coldest, rainiest, and windiest mornings of the entire trip, but that didn’t stop us from laughing and goofing around together. We huddled for warmth and sang sun-related songs in the hopes to bring about nicer weather (think “Here Comes the Sun” and “Tomorrow” from Annie). With camp packed up and breakfast finished, we started the treacherous journey up Gray Wolf Pass.
The climb up Gray Wolf Pass. Above is a glacier formed by the deposition of avalanche snow from the peak above. This small glacier still holds ice worms. Tim is in the distance looking for some of the worms, which are typically nocturnal. We had hoped to find some on this dark stormy day.
Our group ready to go!
At this point in the day, I started to get seriously anxious. The night before, our fearless leaders Tim and Katie talked to me about the decisions we needed to make regarding the trip and my injured knee. I had told them that I felt ready to continue with the planned itinerary regardless of my knee, which was true, but I was still nervous about making it up the pass with my injury. That, in addition to my hideously swollen eye, made me start to think that I might be cursed. This belief only got worse when we started trekking up the snowy pass and the rain and fog made it impossible to see through my glasses. The slippery terrain, steep uphill, lack of vision, injured knee, and already not-so-great balance and coordination made this journey one of the most terrifying moments of my life. There was no part of me that thought I could make it to the top. Luckily, our TA Katie (who was my guardian angel the entire trip) stuck by me and helped me get to a spot where I could put in my contact lenses (the swelling had gone down quite a bit by then). Once I had regained my vision, I slowly made it up to the rest of the group and climbed up the snow and to the top of the pass. Getting to the top was one of the best feelings I have ever experienced, and it was made better by all of my peers cheering me on. If I had not been surrounded by such amazingly positive, supportive, and patient people who were quite literally willing to carry my weight, I might not have had the confidence to keep going. Even though I faced some hardships, I always felt like I was with people who would not give up on me. They never made me feel bad for being slower and were always willing to help me out. Even though I felt cursed on that rainy morning and at one point even said to myself, “I can’t do this,” I never once wished I was anywhere else.
Once we made it to the top of the pass, we took some time to enjoy the view and reflect on the fact that we had made it. We all howled like wolves (Gray Wolf Pass, get it?), took vlogs (see below), and posed for some group shots. But what goes up must come down, so after a while we started to descend down the pass on the other side. I was sure to go extra slowly because the downhills really wore on my injured knee, and the slippery trail meant a higher risk for another fall. The downhill proved to be a challenge of its own with several fallen trees on the trail that forced us to make the eternal choice of over, under, or around, but we kept our spirits high (this was made easier by improving weather).
Our fearless group at the top of Gray Wolf Pass! We were slammed by successive storms, dubbed JAWS1 and 2, by a weather expert.
We continued our trek to the next campsite, stopping briefly for lunch in the rain. We continued forward alternating between meadow and stunning groves of silver fir, to our next temporary home, Bear Camp. As the name suggests, this location is a popular spot for bear sightings. We saw several signs of bears (lots of fresh droppings and even scratch marks on a tree), but sadly did not see a bear that day. Once we made it to the campsite we got to work setting up our tents.
Fresh bear territorial scratch markings on a tree.
Bear Camp!
Once we were all settled in, we relaxed and enjoyed the scenery. I was sitting by the stream by some other people and chatting when we noticed a rainbow across the valley. It was beautiful, and a nice reminder that the rainiest days often end with rainbows. We joked around, journaled, and hung out until it was time for dinner.
Bear Camp Rainbow
My cook group decided to indulge in some Phad Thai. My cook group teammate Amy had the genius idea to put the excess water from cooking the noodles into an empty peanut butter jar. We shook up the water in the jar and cleaned off the sides, and then put the water back into the noodles to create a peanut sauce. This stroke of genius led to what was my favorite meal of the trip!
Gourmet Thai food backcountry-style
After dinner, we gathered around for Zachariah’s discussion about eco-terrorism and environmental activism. This topic was very interesting because it allowed us to consider the extremes of environmentalism, and what each of us consider to be “radical.” We all had different beliefs about what forms of protests and activism is most effective, and it made me think about how groups of people with the same values could approach advocacy differently. Zachariah did a great job pulling in different examples that pushed our assumptions, including examples surrounding UW itself. It was a stimulating discussion that left us ready for bed!
Zachariah’s discussion about eco-terrorism
Overall, I cannot even begin to describe what this experience has meant to me. I feel so much more connected to both nature and myself. Spending nine days outdoors with total strangers was terrifying at first, but before long those strangers became family and the wilderness became home. A lasting lesson I have taken away from this trip was how our relationships with wilderness (both individually and as a society) is exactly that: a relationship. For a long time I feel that we have viewed the earth and its resources as something we own, something we can continue to exploit without consequences. Spending time outside and becoming so connected to the environment surrounding me allowed me to gain a better sense of how we must treat nature as our equal. It has been here long before and and will remain long after we are gone. I remember one day we had solo time in an old growth forest and Tim told us to listen to what the trees had to tell us. When I was sitting among the trees, I was so caught on just how old and wise they were. They loomed over me and made me feel small, but in a good way. I felt like the trees and the wilderness around me had so much to offer, beyond physical resources. This feeling has stuck with me even as I have returned to my normal life. There was so much I took for granted and did not consider before. One thing that we kept discussing was the idea of living “deliberately.” I felt that for those nine days, I lived deliberately; every second of the day was full, and I went to bed proud of what I had accomplished. We had to work for water, food, and shelter in a way that we don’t have to in normal society. We were more in tune with how our actions impacted the space around us. These are parts of the trip that I want to carry with me for the rest of my life.
The most overwhelming feeling I am left with is gratitude. I am grateful to the people who allowed this trip to happen, I am grateful to those who have protected the land on which we explored, and I am grateful to the land itself. I am acutely aware that this trip is not something everyone gets to experience; the financial cost, the time away, and the expertise needed makes something like this available to very few. This saddens me, as I wish everyone could experience something even close to what I did. I am now even more aware of the importance of access to and the protection of National Parks. These spaces can teach everyone something about the earth and about themselves, and I hope that we can limit the barriers that prevent so many people from accessing the land which their money helps fund. I will continue to be an advocate for protecting our wilderness and allowing everyone to become as inspired as I was over those nine days in Olympic National Park.