Please describe a time when you experienced a personal or professional challenge.
I live with generalized anxiety disorder and moderate depression. I have lived with this for as long as I remember. I feel anxiety pretty much all the time. For me anxiety and depression are a constant cycle where my anxiety leaves me feeling emotionally numb which leads to feeling depressed. I feel lucky that in spite of these challenges I have been able to continue to function and I have been very successful in my career. I have found that my anxiety drives me to get things done quickly because I cannot stand the feeling of having ‘to-dos’ on my plate. Though this may seem like a positive, I have realized that leaving my anxiety unchecked results in increased feelings of depression, emotional numbness and a tendency towards obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) behaviors. None of which are healthy.
How did you overcome this challenge or issue and/or persevere in the face of adversity?
For many years I did nothing about my anxiety and depression and just tried to “push through”. It wasn’t until I had to help my children who were diagnosed with bipolar disorder that I realized that I too needed help. Seeing the positive changes that occurred in their lives through counseling and learning life skills to help them live with a mental illness motivated me to also seek help. I sought out counseling and started working on skills such as dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)and mindfullness to try and manage my mental health. I will point out that this did not take away my anxiety and depression, nor has it “cured” my children of bipolar disorder, however I have started to learn skills that can help me manage better day to day. It is hard. My anxiety often prevents me from doing things I know will be helpful, but I have learned to find moments of calm that help me get through each day. I have also learned to try and live in the moment, experience each emotion as they come and recognize how I feel and why I feel that way.
What advice would you give students relating to resilience and failing forward?
The first thing I would suggest is to find someone you trust and talk with them about what you are going through. I often find that talking about what I am experiencing can be therapeutic. Go see a counselor. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of personal strength and personal awareness. Going to see a counselor doesn’t mean you have to subscribe to life long counseling. You may find you only need a few sessions to work through what is going on or you may find regular counseling is the right thing for you. Take time for your mental health. Everyone needs time to stop, clear their mind and release the tension of everyday life. Find what that means for you. It could be meditating, taking a walk, listening to music, or drawing. It may also be a combination of things. Whatever it is, find a way to take time out for you. For me, this means looking for calm moments in my life. To me ‘calm’ encapsulates quiet, peaceful moments where I can be present in the moment and focus on clearing my mind and being at ease. At home, we often talk to our children about building a mental health toolbox. This ‘toolbox’ contains ideas and activities that they can use to work through difficult moments whether it is an anxiety attack or an episode of depression. Some of these tools include meditation, mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or even talking to a friend. Everyone’s toolbox is unique and takes practice to develop and use. Remember that mental illness is just that, an illness. It is nothing to be ashamed about. We all experience mental health challenges. For some people, this is constant and something they have to live with throughout their lives. No matter what there is always hope. You can get through this. You are important and things will get better. It isn’t easy, but it is worth it. You are not in this alone.
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BIOE Senior Research Scientist